Yeah, sometimes things don’t go our way. What we want doesn’t happen. We don’t get what we desired and prayed and craved for. Something we didn’t want shows up instead.
Sure, everyone will say you should keep going. Keep smiling and keep trying. Agree.
My philosophy is you also need to see if what happened is actually good for you, what is the good in the situation. It’s easy for us to label things as good and bad. The truth is, it’s only how you look at it that makes it what it is. A failure, or an opportunity? Love the Zen saying: “The obstacle is the path”
But this post is not about that.
I was upset about something the other day, and someone told me, “hey, I love your positive attitude. So I don’t understand how you can be upset? Maybe it’s better to just live in the moment and not let things affect you?”
So this post is about the 5 minutes you take to do get upset at what happened. Being positive is not about NOT feeling the disappointment or hurt or anger or jealousy or any of those so-called ‘negative’ feelings. Feeling those is human and it happens because you are in touch with your authentic feelings, your deepest self.
It actually happens because you live in the present. And sometimes that present is full of sunshine and joy and triumph and love. And sometimes it’s about other things. That has nothing to do with you being positive.
A positive person is not just a bubbly and cheerful person who apparently never gets affected by anything. The way I see it, that person is probably the enlightened Buddha 😉
Yes maybe we will all attain Nirvana one day 😉 For the moment, all that you can do, is to build an awareness of your feelings at every moment. Learn to acknowledge when you feel not-so-great, what is it that you DO feel, and instead of judging yourself for that, or drowning in that feeling, accept the feeling and slowly change it by shifting your thoughts to a different direction.
So you can feel down about what happened for 5 minutes without hating and beating up on yourself. Then for the next 10 min, say “oh well” and reflect on what happened, get the sunshine back in your thoughts, see how the situation has paved the way forward for something even greater. And then, in the next 45 minutes, get back to action to make the future better. So to speak. THAT is completely in your control. You have the total power to do that. It’s all in your hands.
What is also in your control is not to react negatively in those first 5 minutes to others. Those 5 minutes are yours to only FEEL what you want to feel. Those 5 minutes are not about (destructive) action, rushed decisions, or tit-for-tat towards anyone. Because THAT could make everything negative. Those 5 minutes are yours and yours only to just let yourself be. The next 10, to reflect, can be spent by yourself or with someone who can lovingly, with empathy, help you to see the Full Full. Action comes AFTER that.
So if something or someone affects you deeply, go ahead, bawl your heart out or hit a punching bag. And then find the Full Full 😉 Be #PowerfullyYou.